Monday, January 10, 2011

Dubai......prostitution central

I lived in Dubai for about a year in 2006.  After living there I came to the conclusion that Dubai is should change its name to "Contradiction."  I was in the City Center Mall one day and bought a few magazines.  I bought a copy of FHM, GQ and Guitar World. I was at a friend's place flipping through FHM and noticed that some of the pages had been ripped out. I was pissed off.  I put the magazine down and then started thumbing through the GQ magazine.  It also had pages ripped out.  I told my friend that some asshole must have been through my magazines first.  He said, "no dude, they have people in Dubai that go through magazines and rip out the pages with questionable content." I was like, "are joking me?" He quickly replied "no." To think some dude gets paid to sit and take out magazine pages.  Fucking hell! I think that rivals the poor schmuck that has to sit there and put those damn stickers on each apple or bell pepper.

In Dubai you can't even go on questionable or pornographic websites in the privacy of your own home if you can believe that shit. Talk about controlling people. For Christ sake, the country is like 70% expats.  It is only a Muslim country by its location, not by the demographics of it's population.

Here is where the contradiction is: If you go to any club or bar, it is like 90% hookers. It isn't like you go to some "speakeasy" where the hookers hand out either, it is out in the open. Hyatt has two top hooker spots that I know of.  There is the Premier club in the Hyatt Regency Dubai and Spasso in the Grand Hyatt Bangkok.

It is hard to meet a legitimate chic in Dubai if you are in a bar.  It is quite frustrating as well. Plus, the hookers there are aggressive.  I can remember times in the past when I was dating a woman in the U.S. and told her I would meet her at a bar or something and she would tell me to make sure I arrived first because so she wouldn't get hit on by strange men.  I never thought a woman sitting alone was such a big deal.  I didn't understand it but after living in Dubai I understand it completely. If you go to a club without a woman the hookers don't stop coming on to you.  It is more like men are the goldfish and women are the sharks.  Or maybe an Amercan way to put it is the men are trailers and the women are tornadoes....LOL

There is one club in Dubai called Cyclone. I had just moved to Dubai and asked the concierge of the hotel where I can go to meet women and he told me to go to Cyclone. He was kind of smiling when he recommended it but I didn't think anything of it at the time.  When you walk in this club, one side is all blonde Russian hookers and the other is all Asian hookers.  It is like Pimp Moses parted the sea of hookers or something. I walked in, ordered my usual Black Label on the rocks and lit up my favorite Monte Cristo no.2 cigar and just enjoyed the view. A hot Asian chic approached me and started making advances.  I thought to myself, "this is great, I don't have to make the effort."  She started showering me with compliments like "are all American men as handsome as you?" Note to readers: no, not all Amercan men are as handsome as me:) She then told me I could have her for 600 dirhams, which is about US$200.  I told her  "no thanks." It was then that I started to realize the type of club that concierge sent me to....bastard!

Since I was sitting on the Asian side of the club I was only approached by Asians.  It was like there was this imaginary border that nobody crossed.  The Asians didn't go to the Russian side and the Russians didn't go to the Asian side.  I wonder if they pay rent? It was like some street gang thing that controls certain city blocks or something.

Then another hooker approached me and I turned her away.  Then another approached me and another.  I felt like a piece of fish food thrown into the fish tank.  If you have ever had fish and you put a piece of bread or something in the tank that is too big for the fish to swallow whole they just swim around it taking  little bites of it until it is gone.  That was me in this club.  It was at that moment that I finally understood why single women don't like going to bars alone.

I asked the bartender if he knew of a club that wasn't infiltrated with hookers and he said "this is Dubai, all the clubs are like this. How do you think they get all the businessmen here?"

One time I was in this bar called the View which is located on the 52nd floor of the Emirates tower.  It has windows for walls so you can sit there and have a drink overlooking Dubai.  It is quite nice, and like everything in Dubai, it is expensive. It is more upscale so I figured it wouldn't be riddled with hookers and I turned out to be right. Actually, I am always right....except when I am wrong:)

I was sitting there and a blonde Swedish chic sat next to me.  We ended up talking for a couple of hours and had a good time and I was thinking she wasn't a hooker which was a relief.  Plus she didn't fall into the prerequisite of hookerness in Dubai by being Russian or Asian.  As the bar closed she offered to give me a ride home so I was thinking I would get lucky.  When she pulled in front of my apartment I asked her if she wanted to come in but she said "I can't, I am a hooker."  I was puzzled to say the least.  I was tempted to pay since I got that far and didn't want to go to bed alone but I just told her goodnight. I went to bed thinking, "this really sucks." That is like looking forward to going to the Sizzler buffet all week only to find the salad bar doesn't have Ranch dressing.

It cracks me up that in Dubai they try soo hard to control what you see in print and on the internet but the clubs are filled with hookers. I don't have much tolerance for hypocrisy. At least you can eat pork there.

279 comments:

  1. Superb Pulitzer writing :-) I think you'd be a great colleague to have on the road and to enjoy the occasional couple of drinks and a Cuban cigar with.

    Thanks for making my evening with your great report!

    Best wishes,

    onglideslope@hotmail.com

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  3. hey where cyclone club is located

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are you dumb ?? 90% of duabi is expats but at least )0% of the expats are muslims.

    In any case porn affects your brain and degenerates society.

    As for hookers, something are not that easy to switch off

    ReplyDelete
  5. wish I wouldve know abut the hookers before my husband took a job there. Our marriage is now over because of it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dubai is a Motherfucking place

    ReplyDelete
  7. All Muslims should be killed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kill them with your boobs. You really deserve a muslim dick.

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    2. all their dicks chopped off made shwarma and given to camels to eat.

      Delete
  8. all muslims should be killed and all non muslims should be fucked

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can just imagine how the place is, thanx though, that was a great story. u have made my day .
    rytahnam@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. you need to chill homie we're living in a fucked up place anyway , you only see the bad things and never told us about the good stuff , why? also, since you hate these places why did you visited them in the first place ? finaly, i think muslims are wonderful and peacefull people and we can't just misjudge them becuase of your untrue article .

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is a very accurate article and as a Muslim, I am ashamed to say an Islamic country allows for this to happen.

    I visit Dubai regularly and find this very disturbing. Landed on this article looking for a prostitute-free hotel in Bur Dubai. Boy, am I wrong.

    I will have to deal with it :(

    ReplyDelete
  12. what the fuck , whores are there all over the world ,
    why pick only on dubai

    ReplyDelete
  13. I spent several years in Dubai. What a wonderful place. I spent thousands at the Cyclone. Best whore house I've seen. I couldn't wait to get back from my trips.....straight to the Cyclone! God, save the hookers!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Haha at "god safe the hookers", whats your contact details and where are you located?

    ReplyDelete
  15. is there anyone who can hook me up with some kush here in Dubai? I'm a tourist..

    abdus.makda@hotmail.com

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  17. There is lot of good things also not only bad

    ReplyDelete
  18. There is also good clubs where people meet each other.Ladies who is working in good places.Not only hookers here.Why he is mentioning only Russian and Asian hookers?There is also lot of American,british or Australian,also Moroccan hookers.All the nationalities here.And he has to be happy atlist ladies look at him even its for money.For free I guess no one will sleep with him.Looser.

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